if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
