You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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