it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
