Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
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