i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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