i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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