Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
