I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
