Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
