i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
