i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
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