I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
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