Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
