i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
