Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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