thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
