I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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