i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
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