is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
