i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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