so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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