You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Randomize
