Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
But theres a keg here and me gusta
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
