You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
