also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
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She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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