i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Soap is not a condiment
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
