CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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