Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
someone owes me an orgasm
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
