If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
