mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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