We're facebook friends in real life
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
