i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
