i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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