I can't watch pbs sober anymore
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
