is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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