He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
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