Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
