Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Randomize