long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I could fuck to npr.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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