Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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