dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
