Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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