this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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