i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
