That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
