So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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