D3 body, D1 cock
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
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My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
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I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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