Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I checked into jail on foursquare
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize