i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize