Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
