That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
