She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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