Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
