Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
