if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
