so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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