one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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