Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
