can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Randomize
