she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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