HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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