I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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