dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Randomize
