i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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