out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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