at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
