fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
