help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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