If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
