Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize