yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
