As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
